Amidst their busy schedules of doing nothing and squabbling, the US Congress got down to the important busy of awarding the Congressional Gold Medal to famed beverage innovator and leader of what I assume is a paramilitary vigilante group, “Arnie’s Army”, Arnold Palmer.
“He didn’t set out to change the game. But he did. Arnold Palmer democratized golf. And made us think that we too could go out and play, and made us believe we could do anything really. All we had to do was go out and try,” said John Boehner, the Congressial delegate for the Oompa Loompa population.
Only six other athletes have ever been honored with the award, including Jackie Robinson, Jesse Owens, Roberto Clemente, Joe Louis, and Byron Nelson.