Cocaine Snorting Soccer Player Flees Cops, Gives Fake Name But Can’t Spell It

garry-oconnorI don’t have a particularly decorated rap sheet but that doesn’t mean I don’t know a thing or two about getting arrested. One thing I know is that if you’re going to give a fake name there are several things you should prepare for in advance: 1) Know how to SPELL the fake name, 2) Don’t be an recognizable person (such as an international soccer player), 3) Don’t start spelling the name and then run away.

Alas, Scottish soccer star Garry O’Connor who plays for Hibernian never took my class on avoiding arrest. 

On May 14 Scottish police came upon O’Connor in the back of a parked Range Rover allegedly snorting something that looked to be cocaine. When asked his name O’Connor said it was Johnston but when asked to spell it he got as far as “J…O…S…” before he did the only reasonable thing left, flee. However, after running only about 300 yards he was apprehended by the police—not exactly a great sign for someone who is supposed to be a goal scorer…

The police easily captured O’Connor who they found shaking and huffing and puffing—and with a bag of white powder in his pocket, which O’Connor insists the cops planted on him.

Now getting his day in court, O’Connor’s attorney came up with a most clever line of reasoning; he didn’t run away from an arrest because the police never actually initially detained him. O’Connor’s lawyer, Liam O’Donnell, said his client’s arrest was unlawful as police had not detained him before he ran away.

“He had every right to run away,” O’Donnell said, “He was neither detained nor arrested under any of the available powers and as such he was entitled to run away. He was under no compulsion to stay with the officers.”

“If he’s arrested for something he’s entitled to do then it was unlawful and cannot be admitted.”

So basically, if you can run away from the cops before they actually do anything to you, anything that happens afterwards is inadmissable, even if you were running away from your crime. I love it!