Sorry chess sluts, your days of distracting your opponents with plunging necklines in order to avoid another defeat at the hands of a fellow grandmaster are over! The European Chess Union have announced their first ever set of dress code requirements for all female combatants.
Having heard from competitors and spectators alike, the ECU decided it was time to make a formal decision regarding things like how much cleavage is enough while castling.
The answer: Anything below the second button from the top is showing too much skin and grounds for a penalty.
Skirt length too was not left untouched, the ECU ruled that women may not wear skirts lower than 5-10 cm above the knees, although they didn’t specify for men so I guess dudes can still wear mini-skirts.
Don’t worry, les hommes didn’t get off without any new regulations. “For men…the trousers, the jeans as well as the shirts and polo’s worn should be crisp and show no excessive wear, no holes and shall be free of body odor” [emphasis added.] No more smelly dudes at chess tournaments? What, so the rest of us have to deal with it in the parks but at the fancy chess tournaments now they’re expecting these nerds to smell good too?
The fucking nerve! Chess used to be cool.