Boxing Will Definitely Mess Up Your Face

I know a number of people who have spent a fair amount of hours pondering what it’d be like to punch the ol’ Slanchster in the face. Well, sorry gang, this awkward Jew from the suburbs isn’t about to get into the boxing ring any time soon.

And if my decision wasn’t already firm, this photo—of professional boxers no less—confirms it. I is not made for the boxing ring. That’d be Tony Pietrantonio pictured at the exact moment Lavarn Harvell knocked him out, and apparently channeled his inner Picasso in making a human cubist painting. 


And for the record, Harvell wasn’t done, immediately after connecting with the right, that left hand that appears cocked and loaded in the photo landed too. Terrifying.