Last minute shoppers with a spare $20 million in the bank have a great opportunity to be a part of an historic, winning major league franchise… nah I’m just kidding, it’s the Mets.
But just because the team has been hemorrhaging money; attendance is down; the product on the field is bad; the team’s best player just left in free agency and of course, they’re still the Mets, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t fall over yourself to be a part of the organization, particularly since your $20 million gets you some particularly awesome things!
For example, you can get “access” to Mr. Met, although it’s not specified what that access means. Sweet! Well worth $20 million in and of itself I’d say.
But WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
For a limited time only! Your purchase ALSO includes a team business card, with the title reading “Owner,” plus you get to participate in a special “Owners’ workout day” at CitiField where presumably you get to take batting practice!
You think we’re done giving you incredible benefits? Oh, it’s just getting started: you get a special (single) reserved parking spot at the stadium, a personal team executive to help with acquiring tickets (although the tickets are NOT included in your $20M), ONE free road trip with the team (the team picks the trip—hello Cincinnati!), a free weekend stay at spring training and potential lunch dates with former players and broadcasters. If you’re interested (for some unknown reason) in promoting the Mets by wearing team memorabilia you can shop in the team store (with a discount, no freebies you mooch!)
The one good benefit is that you get a free suite at CitiField, but since the suites go for $250,000-500,000 it’s not as though you’re SAVING money. And that there are upwards of 10 suites available to be “given away” is a major reason why the team needs to raise $200 million…
But hey, if you have $20 million and want to get (at most) 3% back on your investment, plus all those other things, call the Wilpons up.
Seriously, please call them, they’re desperate.