Albert Pujols is an assassin with his bat, murdering the hopes and dreams of opposing fans with one beautiful swing after another. In his hands his 31.5 ounce bat can be swung 86.9 mph, which would easily crush your head, or send a 5 ounce baseball about 450 feet.
This photo of Albert and Ryan Franklin hanging out with some US Navy snipers is pretty fucking killer.
Albert just looks right with giant death-wielding devices in his hands.
This picture probably will keep Brad Lidge from sleeping for months.