Cristiano Ronaldo and the Hooker With a Golden Heart
Written by slanch   
Monday, 22 September 2008 13:00

&amFernanda (Brazilian Hooker)Being one of the best soccer players in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo of Manchester United is able to attract a multitude of extremely attractive women like Nereida Gallardo to his bedside.

So, it is interesting to read this report from the News of the World where they uncover that his latest ladyfriend, a Brazilian woman named Fernanda turns out to also be a $3,600 call girl in London. I highly recommend reading the full article as it is full of hilarious moments, and also some NSFW images, so be warned. After receiving a tip from a high-class madame, the News booked an appointment with the busty Brazilian beauty. During the two meetings that the paper booked she:

  • OFFERED full sex for £460.
  • STRIPPED naked and teasingly gyrated in front of our man.
  • SOLD us two grammes of A-Class drug COCAINE.
  • PROMISED a three-in-a-bed romp with a Czech hooker.
  • PERFORMED a raunchy lesbian show with her.
Normally though Fernanda charges £2,000 a night and works for 5 different London based escort agencies. After booking an appointment for her to show up at their hotel, the News' reporter described the events thusly:
Keen to relax our man, she offered him a drink before beckoning him to the double bed which was draped in expensive linen and adorned with plump velvet cushions. She played seductive mood music on her CD player and began gyrating provocatively while slowly peeling off her dress to reveal a slinky black G string. Caressing herself, she again motioned for our man to join her on the bed but as he made his excuses and prepared to leave, she discussed arranging a second meeting.
The funniest part to me is that the reporter "made his excuses and prepared to leave." Of course he did! Seems incredibly likely to me. Fernanda then made plans for a three-way with the reporter later and even offered to arrange to get some cocaine too. That's full service! Of course when that threesome date happened the girl's again to take the action to funky-town but:
Again, our man insisted he was too tired to participate. But the girls were having none of it. Fernanda tried to arouse him by swaying provocatively just inches from his face then dropping her bra to reveal her 34DD bust. But our man was adamant, looked at his watch and called time on their game, claiming he had an important business meeting to attend.

Adamant eh? What a fine reporter, clearly a man of wills. Well-played sir. I know that when my company sends me out with money for hookers that I always turn the hookers down. Or at least say I do in written form...

[News of the World via Sports by Brooks]

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