Independence Day Has Many Secrets

You don't ever forget your first — blog post that is. When The Slanch Report started over 3 years ago we burst onto the scene with an explosive series of revelations about the truth-telling properties in one of the greatest action flicks of the last 20 years. As we do every year in celebration of […]


Rays Suspend Minor Leaguer for Bad Grammar (Maybe)

The Tampa Bay Rays have suspended Josh Sale, their 2010 first-round pick, for conduct detrimental to the organization, the team announced Wednesday. "Threw 50 cents at a stripper tonight. First time. Got kicked out and she got so (mad) thought she was gonna cry. Your a stripper. Be thankful," Sale posted. He was suspended for […]


The Yankees Label Chicago Beer “Imported”

Forgive them Lord, they know not what they do.  In the world of the New York Yankees, the earth revolves around them, NY is the team's land and everything else is foreign territory.  All of which goes to explain why beer drinkers at the new Yankee Stadium have been gouged an extra couple bucks for […]


Andre the Giant Gets Brought to Life (Size) in CT

Employees at the WWE headquarters in sunny Stamford, Connecticut now have a new life-sized statue of Andre the Giant to greet them in the mornings. Who says going to work has to be boring! However, sadly, even though the statue itself is life-sized, Andre has been mostly dead all day. [Zach Linder and Benjamin Brown]


A Shameless Cubs Doppelganger

After earning All-American honors as a wide receiver at Notre Dame, Jeff Samardzija opted for a career path that involved a lot fewer gigantic men looking to hit you with their bodies as hard as possible, choosing instead for men trying to hit your pitches. After a strong beginning to his career as a reliever, Samardzija […]

Lip Reading with the NFL is Fun!

"I found Fido!" If this didn't make you laugh you're flat out dead inside. 


Patriots Fan Gets the Worst Tattoo Ever

I'm not one for adorning my body with tattoos for the sports teams I love but hey, that's what works for some people. However, one New England Patriots fan might want to reconsider his decision to feature this tattoo of Pat the Patriot on his body canvas. There's bad tattoos and then there are BAD […]


Live in Barry Bonds Home for a Mere $25M

The economic downturn did little to affect the bottom line for the 1%, even those under house arrest. Over his career Barry Bonds made over $180M in salary alone and he's showing himself to be a smart businessman with those funds after his career has ended.  While his trial for evasive testimony resulted in a […]


A Camel Toe Helps You Run Better

Like any true sportsman (nod Lance Armstrong) you're out there trying to get an edge on your competition. First it was training with those Vibram five-fingered toe shoes but as comfortable and useful as they are it is impossible to walk around in them and not look a bit odd.  Thankfully, Vibram's former CEO has […]

He (Doesn’t) Shoot, He Scores!

After months of being locked out, the NHL is finally almost ready to resume play. For those puckheads who can't wait until Saturday, here is some hot ice action from Mother Russia and the KHL All Star game where Jori Lehtera shows off during the shoot-out contest.  Normally players like to take their best whack […]


Matt Kemp’s Newest Tattoo is a Turn Off

Say you're Matt Kemp, superstar baseball stud, multi-millionaire, former lover of Rihanna, presumably you don't have too much trouble meeting beautiful women to bath you lovingly with their tongues. However, that might change after Kemp's newest tattoo. On the one hand, having a giant portrait of his grandparents (in honor of his recently deceased grandfather) […]


Handballer Gets a Kiss So He Shoves Opponent and Takes Off His Shorts

Handball is, obviously, a fiery sport full of passion. In Italy, a country also known for its citizens occassionally being overly passionate, that reputation was only enhanced following a match when Ivan Stuffer took umbrage to a peck on the cheek from his opponent, Pasquale Maione. Reacting in the most standard manner, Stuffer makes sure […]

Long Drive Champ Destroys Simulator with a Tee Shot

Golfer Jamie Sadlowski can flat-out crush the ball, having won multiple long drive competitions with a personal best of 455 yards—that's like, REALLY far. He stopped by the Golf Channel recently to take on Gary Williams in a drive-for-drive contest that quickly turned into no contest after Sadlowski's first shot.  Teeing off into a simulator, […]