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March 11 signaled the second birthday of the Slanch Report! We've served up over 1 million pages in our time and quite literally couldn't have done it without you! So thanks!

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The Vancouver Olympics may be over but that doesn't mean we should forget the hot athletes who participated in them. And just think, London is only 2 years away!

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The baseball debates continue! Check out the latest one where I take on the issue of whether Joe Mauer should move off catcher or not!

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Beatriz Recari, 22, is a Spanish golfer in her rookie season on the LPGA tour. Eliza Dushku is one of the best looking women in Hollywood despite avoiding tabloid scandals. Doppelgangers? You betcha!

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Former Saint May Be a Sinner, Robbed Coach
Written by slanch   
Thursday, 18 March 2010 16:13

sean-payton-076Kevin Houser used to be the long snapper on the New Orleans Saints, while on the team he convinced head coach Sean Payton to invest $144,000 in a movie studio as a means to get some tax credits. Unluckily for Payton, the CEO of the Louisiana Film Studios LLC, Wayne Read, never applied for the credits and instead kept the money.

Understandably, Payton was less than psyched.

Now, the Paytons (along with Jeremy Shockey and Charles Grant who also invested) are suing Houser, who is currently a member of the Seahawks. Houser's attorney claims that his client is as much a victim as his former colleagues, claiming the Housers are out $125,000 that they invested. However, Houser did collect a finder's fee for delivering his compatriots to Read.

This case first came out in July when Houser was released from the team, something Payton insists was unrelated to the legal proceedings.

Among the other Saints-affiliated people who invested in this scheme were Drew Brees and Archie Manning, although it's unclear if they have filed their own suits.

Don't you know, you never rip off the boss, everyone else, sure but NEVER the boss, particularly when your only real skill is long-snapping.

[WWL]

 
Prepare to Be Boarded
Written by slanch   
Thursday, 18 March 2010 13:22

If I was a hockey player I think I'd constantly be getting in trouble for boarding, they just look so inviting and ready to have someone else's body slammed into them. Of course, the rule Nazis in the NHL see them as an injury hazard and boarding will result in a penalty, so it goes.

Wednesday's Blackhawks/Ducks game featured just such an occurrence when Blackhawks defenseman Brent Seabrook gets full on manhandled into the boards by James Wisniewski. While big hits are all the talk surrounding the NHL recently, with Ovechkin's suspension, Savard's injury and several other incidents you'd think maybe the refs would be a bit trigger-happy and start issuing majors or game misconducts. They didn't though, Seabrook was knocked out of the game and Wisniewski took a 2-minute break in the box for boarding.

 

 
Another Great Alternative Bracket
Written by slanch   
Thursday, 18 March 2010 12:20

My Bloguin neighbors over at Talking Chicago Baseball have assembled another excellent alternative to the wasteland that is college basketball with their Tournament of Torture, pitting 32 of the biggest killers of the Cubs and White Sox in an epic battle. Who will reign supreme as the biggest tormentor of Chicago baseball? I'm going with Alfonso "Soriano's contract" against "Lack of Ball girls" for the finals.

I will agree with one of my Bloguin brethren that Dusty Baker, for all the long-term damage he did to Mark Prior and Kerry Wood should be on the list but, so it goes.

Check out the bracket below (click on it to see an enlarged version) and then email yours to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , it'll be worth it.

tcbtourneyround1

[Talking Chicago Baseball]

 
MLS Fans Beat a Man Over His SCARF
Written by slanch   
Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:50

portland-timbers-scarfsIt's said often that despite it's worldwide popularity, soccer just can't catch on in the US, tell that to the supporters of the nascent Portland Timbers of the MLS. After a PRESEASON game against the (Drew Carey-owned) Seattle Sounders last week a Timbers fan started getting into "friendly rivalry banter" with some Sounders fans that led ultimately to him being beaten and dragged by several people. So, at least we have the hooliganism part down!

As the Timbers fan left the stadium and headed to the bus to his hotel he noticed the Sounders' fans were following him, and soon running after him.

"According to (the victim), the men were wearing their Sounders scarves over their faces as they approached him," Officer Aaron Parker wrote in an incident report. "He felt one of the men grab onto his scarf and pull it backwards."

Grabbing his scarf to prevent it being stolen, the victim fell to the ground and received multiple punches to the head from the 3 men.

"One of the men said, 'Give me the scarf,'" Parker wrote. "Two of the men ended up pulling on both ends of the scarf, causing it to constrict around his neck."

A bystander nearby saw what was happening and went to help, scattering the attackers who left without the scarf.

Fortunately, the Timbers fan received only some bumps and bruises and was otherwise unharmed.

I didn't even know there were MLS FANS, let alone ones ready to resort to violence after an EXHIBITION. Maybe soccer really HAS arrived...

[Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

 

 
Put That Back!
Written by slanch   
Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:30

The Oklahoma City Thunder are very quietly putting together a great nucleus of young players and this year they are gelling and in place to make some noise. Of course, being able to gear the offense around a talent like Kevin Durant makes things a lot easier. Another way to get attention is showing some excellent athleticism like Serge Ibaka did in Wednesday's game against the Bobcats. Following up a missed shot Ibaka gets up, snatches the ball in mid-air and puts it through the hoop. He should consider going pro.

[A Stern Warning]

 
Diddy Wants to Buy a Soccer Team
Written by slanch   
Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:00

diddySean "Diddy" Combs is well versed in bling; diamonds are nice, platinum is always appreciated but Diddy has all those things already and so he's set his eyes on getting some Crystal instead. Specifically, Crystal Palace, a team in the English Premier League on the verge of relegation. Diddy has been in London meeting with financiers about investing in an EPL club and is likely opting for Crystal Palace almost solely because of their name.

I thought Jay-Z had convinced all the other hip-hop moguls not to indulge in Cristal... Diddy never listens...

He's also reportedly looking into purchasing Portsmouth but that club name is so staid and boring.

Of course, Diddy's money won't save the club from relegation, but he believes that by absorbing their debt he can help spur a return to the EPL and presumably, glory.

[Daily Mail]

 
Jamaica's Musher Nears the Finish Line
Written by slanch   
Thursday, 18 March 2010 09:34

newton-marshall-006The (surprisingly) lone entrant from Jamaica, Newton Marshall is soldiering on as his first Iditarod experience is coming to a close. Currently in Koyuk, 4 checkpoints from the finish, the rookie is enjoying his first taste of the most challenging of dog-sled races. Despite training with now 4-time champion Lance Mackey, and participating in the Yukon Quest last year, the cold is still the biggest challenge for the Carribean-native.

"I am cold every night,'' he said Saturday. "I feel it coming in my pockets, all my zippers. It was like the cold was unzipping my clothes."

Along the journey, Marshall has become even more popular, thanks in large part to his laughter and generous good humor. Whether it's sharing an iPod video of the first time he shot a shotgun (and was literally knocked on his ass) to fellow mushers, or playing a prank by pretending the door to one of the checkpoints was frozen solid only to open it at the last second, Marshall always seems to have a smile on his face and a laugh coming out his mouth. It was this attitude that helped him win the Yukon Quest's Challenge of the North award given to the musher who "exemplifies the spirit of the Yukon Quest."

That said, all the good humor in the world is no challenge for the swirling winds and cold of the Alaskan tundra. Marshall has one goal remaining, finishing no matter what. "I got sponsored. The other (musher) in Jamaica didn't like [sledding] too much. So I said I would do it. I wasn't very smart.

"(Rainy Pass) was so scary I thought I was going to die. There was zero visibility. It was dark. You could not see anything. I fell in waist-deep snow. Then my dogs got in a tangle."

To add to his challenges, one of Marshall's females is in heat and eager to get some action going, leading to several tangles and delays, but that's just the cost of business when you're working with bitches.

With 172 miles remaining on his journey, Newton is anxiously looking forward to the finish line.

"I consider I've been lucky," he said. "I'm looking forward to getting my finisher's belt buckle. I close my eyes and click my heals and say, 'There's no place like Nome."

[Alaska Dispatch]

 
Rangers Manager Tested Positive for Cocaine Use
Written by slanch   
Wednesday, 17 March 2010 14:41

ron-washington1Down in Surprise, Arizona where the Texas Rangers hold their spring training a very unexpected story came out Wednesday. Sports Illustrated's Jon Heyman reported that last July, Rangers manager Ron Washington tested positive for cocaine, surprise!

I didn't even know the managers were tested but it turns out that since 2008 all coaches, managers and clubhouse officials have been tested; it was one of the recommendations in the Mitchell Report. Why, is another issue. It's not like steroids are going to increase one's managerial skills and recreational drugs are more likely to hinder than aid.

After the test, Washington admitted to the team and the commissioner's office that he had used the drug, prior to the results coming back. Since the failed test in July, Washington has passed subsequent ones and the Rangers have no intention of firing him, particularly after signing him to a contract extension last June.

"I did make a mistake and I regret that I did it," Washington told SI.com on Tuesday. "I am really embarrassed and I am really sorry."

The club's executives and Washington held a closed-doors meeting with the players early Wednesday morning, but Washington has no lame excuses.

"Any attempt to try to explain it is going to sound like excuses," he said. "There is no right way to explain something wrong, and I did wrong. Was it tension? Maybe. Anxiety?"

Considering cocaine only stays in the body for 3-5 days, either Washington is the unluckiest first-time user ever, or this could be a larger issue. Lucky for him he has Josh Hamilton, a recovering addict on the team.

[SI]

 
Ski Jumping at Dodgers Stadium
Written by slanch   
Wednesday, 17 March 2010 14:00

dodgerstadiumskijump

When you think Dodger Stadium, ski jumping is not usually the first thing to come to mind; after all, it is in Los Angeles. However, in October of 1963 the stadium saw a 165 foot long, 28 story (twice the height of the stadium) high ski jump was built in right field as part of the Giant International Ski Show and Grindelwald Ski Swap.

Pretty awesome no? I think they should do this again, maybe for the Pirates? You could jump right into the river! Hey, anything to get people through the door right?

[Vin Scully is My Homeboy via Rob Neyer]

 
Mr. Mackey Wins the Iditarod Again, M'Kay!
Written by slanch   
Wednesday, 17 March 2010 13:20

lance-mackey-iditarod-champion-2010On Tuesday afternoon, with his 11 dogs leading the way, Lance Mackey pumped his fists as he crossed the finish line in Nome, winning his record-setting 4th straight Iditarod. Now only Rick Swenson's and his 5 Iditarod championships stand between Mackey and becoming the all-time best.

This year's run was particularly impressive, Mackey became only the second musher in race history to finish in under 9 days, just making it by a mere 51 seconds!

"I'll probably be back next year," he said afterward. "I don't see why not. I'm a little beat up, though. I can only be so tough so long."

Winning the famed race earns Mackey a nice $50,400 check and a new Dodge truck.

The key to this year's victory came when Mackey's dogs ran about 140 miles straight, without any sizable rest, sending the team into a lead of which they'd never let go.

"I'm totally willing to gamble any time any day," Mackey said after the epic run. "I'm not afraid to lay it on the line."

[Anchorage Daily News]

 
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